What a Good Death Actually Looks Like

What does a good death really look like?

It’s one of the most common questions I get as a death doula—and it’s one of the hardest to answer with words alone.

Because truthfully?

Most people have never witnessed a peaceful death.

They’ve seen the dramatized versions on TV—the gasping, the chaos, the last-minute medical interventions. Or they’ve had personal experiences marked by confusion, fear, and silence. And if that’s the only lens you have on dying, it makes sense why so many people are terrified.

But I want you to know something:

Dying doesn’t have to be scary.

Our bodies know how to die.

And with the right care, presence, and support, death can be peaceful—even beautiful.

In my work, I’ve had the honor of sitting beside people as they take their final breaths. I’ve seen the difference between a death filled with chaos and one wrapped in calm. I’ve watched the tension leave someone’s body as their loved ones whispered, “It’s okay to go.” I’ve felt the sacred shift in the room when someone crosses over in peace.

So what does a good death actually look like?

✨ The room is quiet, with soft light and gentle voices.

✨ The dying person’s face is relaxed—no furrowed brows, no signs of pain.

✨ Their breath may sound strange, but their energy is calm.

✨ There’s presence. Connection. Maybe even laughter.

✨ There’s space for tears, but no panic.

A good death isn’t about perfection. It’s about presence.

If you’ve ever sat beside someone and wondered, “Are they suffering?”—this video is for you.

I’ll show you what I look for as a doula, how I know when someone is at peace, and how you can support a peaceful transition when the time comes.

🕯️ Watch now:

And if this touched your heart or brought up questions, I created a Conscious Death Checklist to help you start preparing—practically, emotionally, and spiritually. You can get it in my weekly newsletter.

Let’s normalize this. Let’s soften into it.

Because you’re going to die someday.

Let’s make sure it’s not full of fear.